Porning

Every now and again, I find women who aren't exactly in touch with their feminine side. In touch being the go to phrase. And by in touch, I mean, women who don't touch their feminine side. Masturbation. I myself have always been a dirty, filthy wanker. 

Which is why when the Pankhearst CEOs approached and asked for a follow-up erotica storey to what I already submitted for Cars & Girls, I thought. Easy as pie. Except, I wasn't to work alone. Zoe Spencer, girl of my dreams, love of my life, and all around innocent bobble, was given the task as well. Needless to say, my wide-eyed and sexually ambivalent best friend was in need of a little...how shall I say...coaching. Guidance  Brainstorming. 

Of course, I gave her a hand. Two in fact. 

If you want to hear her account of the story, she wrote about her experience here.

From what I can remember, and it is a bit hazy, we decided to squirrel away in a super secret local and practice our porning. After many bottles of wine, probably the reason for the thick haze, and a fair amount of bread consumed. We produced something I never thought I'd be capable of writing. Not-so-horrible fan-fiction called Fifty Shades of Green where the Hulk shows Pepper Pots his little monster. Oh, Bruce.

Oh, and ten pounds were gained. Combined, you silly ninnies. I'd have to eat my weight in sweets to gain ten pounds in two days. As much as I love pastries and cakes and biscuits, I don't think I'd be able to manage 9 stone in forty-eight hours.

I'm proud to say, Zoe is now in touch with her feminine side. She no longer thinks the act of self-pleasuring is a sin that will mar her pristine soul and give her a one way ticket to hell. Mostly because I lied to her and told her it was a completely normal and natural thing. I figure if I have to go to hell, she has to come with me. 

Our rough copies have been submitted for approval. We are waiting on word. Until then, I am going to look for ways to ease my hand cramp.